I love my exercise I really do – as you may have guessed. For the first 12 weeks I managed – around bouts of morning sickness – to fit in a fairly respectable regime.

This included 5km cycles  on the static bike, or 15 minutes on the spinning bike followed by weights,  or  20 minute runs on the treadmill (with a minimum 3% incline as anything else is cheating) or some circuits around the park. I even fitted in my pregnancy yoga DVD (Shiva Rea) and some pilates classes.

Nothing like my pre-pregnancy regime of 2x spinning class, 3/4 x30 minutes of yoga, 2 runs (including a 10k most weeks) but still I was feeling proud of myself, I was doing best for baby and me.

I’d wanted to keep up the spinning but all the teachers have effectively banned me, claiming that even if I kept the resistance low and didn’t do any of the more fancy moves (such as riding out of the seat) a mild spot of spinning still involved a lot of pelvis bumping, which was not good for the baby. As most of the teachers have had babies themselves- I took their advice more seriously than I might some of the male teachers – who also advised against by the way.

Then I read about Nell McAndrew, doing a minimum of a 10k run every day. Phew! Lucky lady. At  first I’ll admit I felt jealous, then a bit guilty (I am a Catholic after all) then I realised that I’d downsized my regime (which I’ve been told is almost athletic standard) for a reason – I was pregnant!

I know Nell is very fit and runs marathons, but I still couldn’t help but compare myself with her.  Had I’d become a lazy, pregnant lady?

The answer was obviously ‘no’ and I found out as much when I went for the first scan, the 12 week job.

I was weighed just before the scan and to my surprise,  I’d only managed to put on 2lbs, or less than  a kilo,  in the first three months of my pregnancy.

The baby was fine, after all it takes everything first but my body was obviously working overtime. So over the following fews days I kept dragging myself to the gym nonetheless.

Then we had our first baby scare, a blood test had shown I had above average levels  of HCG ( the pregnancy hormone that makes that blue line appear on the pregnancy test). No only did it explain my morning sickness it also  indicated there may be a problem with the baby.

Within days we’d been booked to have a private CVS test at a hospital in London.  The test involved having a needle inserted into my tummy in order to extract some of the placenta, which would be tested for various genetic abnomalities.

The test was clear as we found out just two days later, but having a  CVS increases the risk of miscarriage for up to two to three weeks afterwards. Three weeks during which the only exercise I will be doing is lifting food to my mouth, if I can manage to keep it down that is.

I’ve had my reality check, exercise is great for maintaining or at the very least keeping up a modicum of my previous fitness, so I can benefit from all those years of training my pregnancy. But that’s why I kept fit, to have a healthy baby, and doing 10k runs every day – for me – is probably a fitness regime too far.

That’s not to say I’m going to sit on the sofa and scoff myself  either, I’m going to be going to body balance and yoga.

I’ll have to avoid reading about ladies who do marathons while pregnant and stick to what is best for me, and that means trying to stay pregnant and healthy.

Oh and buying a maternity bra, which is what I’m probably going to be blogging about next.

Now it’s official, I am panicking.  Really really panicking. The other night I woke up at 3am and could not get back to sleep until 5am (Imogen woke up at 6am) this rarely happens to me. I do wake up in the middle of the night but can often doze off again happily.

I have started having dreams about the wedding, about the music going wrong, my dress ripping, and not being able to get to the church.

But this wedding worry seems to have exacerbated something I thought I’d shrugged off  eight years back – around the time just before I first went freelance ; a period when when I felt out of control of everything in my life.  I sorted it out by carving my own career and generally taking control of my life.

I know this feeling – it’s anxiety.

I’ve read several articles on anxiety in the last few weeks. Apparently we’re all are suffering from an overload of anxiety. It’s the new epidemic, according the Sunday Times Style magazine.

Anxiety is something I find hard to live with,  worry on the other hand…

I’m a worrier, in fact I really am one of those people who if they haven’t got something to worry about, will actually wonder why they haven’t got something to worry about and will worry about that. I’ll assume that there’s something I should be worrying about but am not therefore the thing I am worried about will happen/not happen and then I really will be worried.

I was born like this, ask my mother!  In fact I’m surprised I don’t look 10/20 years older than I am.

But worry is something I can control.  Although I’m pretty sure this anxiety is actually my normal worries with the wedding stuff added I don’t want it to get the better.

For me anxiety means having a feeling in the pit of my stomach that there’s something I’ve not yet done or have to do. It can paralyse me in social situations or at home when I’m trying to do something relaxing.

It also means I get headaches – which is not something I generally suffer with much either.

Sometimes life can be a bit too much , we try and cram so many things in. Thinking of ourselves… as well as planning the wedding, we’ve had a quite a few things to deal with in the last couple of years. Serious illness, job losses, debts, changes in employment,  Imogen starting pre-school and a few others.

I nearly had a meltdown this afternoon when we were discussing the honey moon with Andrew’s parents. Then  I remembered how I managed to beat off the anxiety that nearly suffocated me a few years back – learning to  breathe.

You may laugh but while Andrew put Immy to bed I put on my yoga DVD, and rather than fast forward them, I actually just did the breathing exercises on their own instead.  Just sitting still, being calm, being in the moment, and hearing the sound of my own body nourish itself made me realise – everything really will be okay.

Ahhh

Ella Mag’s Samantha and Katie have entered the 10k Race for Life this summer.

It’s Katie’s first ever 10k and she’s feeling nervous while  Samantha, who managed four 10ks over four consecutive weekends last May,  hasn’t run any distance races for a while (since last May in fact).

Each week they will be charting their fitness progress and sharing their tips with you. You can sponsor them – or even better join them at a Race for Life near you.

We ought to warn you that before attempting any form of exercise you should get yourself checked out by your GP. We’re not saying you’re unfit, just that it’s better to be safe – lecture over!

Week one

Chris at our local Nuffield gym gave us this basic programme, which you can build up depending on how fitter you get. You can also adapt it if you’d rather exercise outdoors, by doing timed jobs combined with walking, and as you get fitter jogs punctuated with sprints; you’ll need to find a park where you can mark your circuits (timing them means having to faff around with a watch)

If you have access to a gym you’ll need a treadmill.

Start with a three minute warm up, you need a gradient of at least 2 (0 just doesn’t cut it sorry) at around 6-6.5km.

After three minutes increase your speed to 7.5km, aim to do this for two minutes, then you can go back down to the slower speed.  If you are new to exercise you may just want to aim for ten minutes.

As you get fitter you can  increase the top speed to 9km which you should aim to do for a minute. You’ll also need to turn the gradient up. Go back down to 7.5km as your’ rest’. Start with one round and aim to do at least three times a week. Each week increase the number of rounds you do.

And chill!

Having flexibility is great for overall health, Samantha and Katie are winding down each training session with a few downward dogs. If you know the basics you can round off your training with a few sun salutations. If not get thee to a yoga class.  The British Wheel of Yoga has a great website where you can find your nearest qualified yoga teacher

If this article has inspired you, you might want to read  Jeff Prestridge’s 10 marathons in 10 days  (yep you’ve read that right) challenge this May. He’s blogging about it, and you can donate here.

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Ella Mag’s editor Samantha Downes is getting married this summer and she’s doing it on a budget. However her bridal preparations have hit a bit of a snag.

With no budget for anything, aside the cost of the church and the hire of the church hall (my mum and dad are helping with the cost of the food and drink) there’s not much Andrew and I can actually do this week but wait for our guests to RSVP .

We gave a deadline of 31 March, and my ultra-organised Andrew even set up a website where guests could go online and RVSP and even  select their menu options for the wedding breakfast.

I’ve looked at wedding dresses but with such a minimal budget we are waiting till the last minute to kit ourselves and our bridesmaids out.

Oh and not only have I broken my Lenten promise not to eat chocolate I also gave in to the call of caffeine on Friday when I had not one, not two but three deadlines, all before 9am.

Now I wasn’t going to give up alcohol however two things have made me change my mind.  One: the last two Saturdays I’ve knocked back units in three nights than the previous six months and I realise how rubbish alcohol makes me feel, even in moderation.

And two: I met a former work colleague last week who doesn’t drink. She’s at least six years older than me has two children and although shes in her mid 40s she could pass for at least 15 years younger.

These things have convinced me that my bootcamp will now involve no booze, no caffeine and no chocolate. It sounds boring but I’ve actually not missed these things as much as I thought I would.

Now my gym programme is one thing that is going to plan. My weekly run hours runs with my new BFF Julia (who is also a part-qualified personal trainer) are coming on well. And I’m managing to fit in spin classes, weight training and yoga.

The only down side to this is the 5.30am starts. Well, how else did you think I was going to fit it all in?

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My mission to be a buff bride

The summer bridal bootcamp starts here