Kim Kardashian and I have one thing in common, actually make that two, no, no it’s three (there’s my baby brain again!).

I didn’t even know who she was till she announced her pregnancy, just that she seemed to be in the newspapers a lot. But as well as being pregnant Kim, similarity one, and having a girl, similarity two, she is determined to keep up the fitness regime that has won her fans among both men and women who prefer their celebrities curvy (i.e bigger than a size 6).

As with Kim my fitness regime appears to be attracting attention.  Not the paparazzi thankfully, but most certain not very welcome, attention.  I’ve lost count of the stares I get from older men (normally in their 60s/70s when women were supposed to go to ground when they got up the duff) and women (normally in their 30s/40s normally childless) while in the gym. Okay I’m being super sensitive, and I should ignore it but…

At 29 weeks I’m managing 4/5 visits a week doing the static bike or cross trainer for 20-25 minutes for my aerobics (I used to do an hour of either running of 45 minutes spinning pre pregnancy) then a resistance workout involving light weights (3-5kg) and using my own body weight on the stability and fitness balls.

One of my favourite workouts is using light weights on the static bike. I was given this workout by the fabulous Eva at the Nuffield city gym a couple of years back. It’s a 20 minute workout that saves time but doubles up because as well as using my legs I’m working my arms and back too, with all the benefits that it makes to my baby-tipped posture.

Obviously I checked the workout was safe before doing it during pregnancy, and was told as long as I used lighter weights and skipped the overhead arm movements it was a great way to keep fit and (hopefully) ease my labour and post-birth recovery.

That was until the other day when an older man started telling me how ‘dangerous’ my work out was. Nothing new, one of the reasons I stopped exercising last pregnancy was because I kept being told how I needed to take it easy. But this time round the midwives have pointed out that because I’ve worked out the best part of 17 years’ every week it would be just as bad for me to give up in pregnancy as for a non-exerciser to take up exercise in pregnancy.

This time round though I answered back at the guy and told leave me alone, firstly informing him that my workout had been okay-ed by three of the personal trainers at the gym. Still he seemed to think that going to the gym for 15 years (he was slouched over the cross trainer in a way that was probably more likely to injure him than make him fitter) qualified him to know what was safe and was not.

He’s not the only person to stick their oar in since I’ve got pregnant, everything from my parenting (or more like attempts at parenting in between bouts of exhaustion thanks to my average of 3 hours sleep a night) to my cooking, and even my work; although that’s another blog, have come under the eye of the critic.

Apparently I can claim maternity allowance from 29 weeks, and am seriously considering doing so. But one thing’s for sure – I’ll keep up the gym routine with my middle finger ready to flip the bird should another person dare to lecture me on exercise.

Where to start with my first blog as a married woman? Well at 25 weeks pregnant – and with my appearance changing week to week (and sometimes day by day) I thought I’d start with my next-stage survival guide.

The last few months have been tough, battling morning sickness and then planning a wedding, has left me feeling knackered. I’ve got two weeks till my final (and most uncomfortable) trimester starts. Yay!

The usual things – stretch marks, dry skin and massive weight gain – have so far evaded me this pregnancy. According to most experts there’s little you can do about stretch marks, so whether you get them or not tends to be a result of a genetic raffle. My mum didn’t get them which may explain why I’ve not got them. That hasn’t stopped me from slathering on the Body Shop coconut butter I got for Christmas though.

Hair-tales

Sitting in the waiting room to see my obstetrician at 22 weeks I had a moment -  many of the other pregnant ladies waiting with me, many of them dressed smartly were not bothering with their hair, leaving it long and unstyled. There were very few women with cropped or bobbed hair. Looking at my own mop (which I had grown to put up for our wedding) I decided a trim was in order.

Pregnancy is probably not the time to go for a really drastic hair cut, because it does shed after birth. Trims are good I told myself and used a 25% off Toni & Guy hair cut voucher in Grazia. I also had £30 worth of Toni & Guy gift vouchers to use, so I got £10 haircut. The lady at Bishops Stortford T&G, Dawn – was great. She also recommended a hair style for when I was feeling like something a bit more on trend (a long Gwyneth Paltrow-style bob, but I’ll come back to you on that one).

Now while I’ve made a personal decision not to dye my hair during pregnancy, there is no evidence that hair dyes can cause any harm to come to the baby but as pregnancy is the one time you can get away with going natural, I’ve decided to. During pregnancy you shed less hair (it does fall out after you have the baby) so your hair will tend to look thicker, and increased blood flow which gives you strong nails and that pregnancy ‘bloom’ also means I’m sporting a glossy full mane of hair at the moment.

So I’ve booked in to have another trim just before baby is born, and I may opt for highlights then. Remember if you are wanting to dye your hair when pregnant you will need a patch test first as the hormone flood that is pregnancy can mean you suddenly develop a reaction to hair dye.

If you must dye your hair, L’Oreal have a dip dye kit which means you don’t have to put the dye anywhere near your scalp. I did try this kit before I got pregnant and would recommend you only use it if you have mid brown or lighter hair, even the kit for dark hair can come out looking orange. And backcomb the bit where you want the dye to ‘join’ your darker hair for a more natural look.

Beauty writer ReallyRee has reviewed it in detail on her blog.

For the next three months dry shampoo (Klorane oat) a regular fringe trim, L’Oreal mythic oil and some Elnett  heat protect smooth should keep me from looking like the wild woman of Bishops Stortford.

Skin-tonics

I had my eye on a Clarisonic, but at £150 a pop, that’s not going to be part of my regime any time soon (but I can dream). However on one of my favourite beauty forums I was alerted that  Boots No7 had bought out a version of the electric cleansing brush, the beautiful cleansing brush, for £25, and was available at a special offer price of £15. But even better I could use one of the £5 No7 vouchers towards it. It’s amazing, but don’t use the strong setting, on sensitive pregnant skin it can be a bit strong. Your usual cleanser will do, as long as it’s a water based foaming one.

At night I’ve been using Clarins blue orchid oil and my usual Dermalogica regime. Dermalogica has bought out some new stuff, but as I only started working again this month I’ll leave that treat till later.

When I get the chance I’ve been dyeing my eyebrows and eyelashes with a kit, and have been using my very well used Shavata brow shaping kit (bought in Marks and Spencers about six years ago).

I’ve also got some Cowshed vouchers to use, I’m saving them up for week 38/39 as a pre-baby/last ditch mummy makeover.

Still fitness crazy

Thanks to my trainer Victoria Thompson, via the Bishops Stortford Nuffield gym. She gave me some great preggers exercises which have given me a more toned bum and legs than a six months pregnant is entitled to have. From 28 weeks (or if we have sudden warm spell) I’m upping my swimming and pilates. Yoga is just too sedate for me right now, I can’t do power yoga nor can I do hot yoga and pregnancy yoga sends me to sleep!  I do incorporate yoga stretches into my cool down regime. I’ve had to stop running as my hips are starting to ache (I got SPD in my first pregnancy) but for now I’m feeling fit, healthy and happy. Oh and I’ve been wearing some gorgeous pregnancy fitness gear from SportyBump. I’ve taken to wearing the yoga leggings around the house and out when shopping/doing the school run.

Food, glorious food

Well thank the Lord for Omeprazole, this little daily table means I can eat. I’ve not had any weird cravings – I did in the early stages when I was feeling sick – but being able to eat most food probably means I’m not too vitamin deficient. I’m sticking with the Boots Omega 3 and pregnancy multivitamins as a top up. My indigestion may be making a return soon, so I’m stuffing up now – all healthy food (she says, hiding the Cadbury caramel mini eggs out of sight).

In five days time I will be married. I’m not scared, I’m not sad, I’m not even amazingly excited. Because it feels like the most natural thing in the world to do.

Not that I’ve actually been single for a few years now,  officially Andrew and I became a couple in January 2007, although it’s a bit more complicated than that. We first met  in April 1997 – nearly 16 years ago and  a week before Tony Blair was elected; we were girlfriend and boyfriend for nearly two years after that.

I don’t ever remember really wanting to be married, or have children, but nearly everyone I have asked (in the purposes of research I might add) tells me that from my early 20s I was telling everyone I wanted to be married and have children. I was as determined in that as I was about having a career in journalism.

I did and do love my job, I still see it as a vocation and is why I work on this website for no financial reward. But I think I realised (in my late 20s and early 30s) if I really wanted marriage and children I would have to let go of some of the things I had felt so important and that were such ‘must haves’.

These things seemed so important to me but when I let go of them,  I found that I could embrace the things that really made me happy – which included spending time with myself and people I cared about, eating well (as in healthily) nurturing real friendships, finding God and Jesus again. That was when love came back to me.

I’m not saying all women and men in search of love should ever compromise, what I am saying is that loving someone and seeing them grow and thrive in that love is more rewarding that any exclusive byline, £1k a week plus salary or exotic press trips. It took me years to work that out and a few more years to let it go.

Having my daughter is a gift which every day I am grateful for beyond words. The same goes for number 2, all being well, I know that at my age I’m lucky to have even got pregnant having seen so many friends in their mid-late 30s and older not able to have children.

I’m still a feminist, but I will be changing my surname, well gradually anyway (my friend Marianne tells me it’s a real b****r to change your bank account to your married name unless you get a new passport first).

On Saturday when I say my vows I will be saying them knowing that my life is going to amazing, not because I have a great career, large pension or a nice wardrobe, it is because I have love, love of my partner,  my family and my friends. That is a gift you can never buy and for one I will never take for granted.

A very warm welcome to  Lemon House Life a  new blog from Ruth Osborn, you might remember her  Our Lady in Italy.

Well she’s now set up her own blog Lemon House Life to share her thoughts on fresh life and fresh food in northern Tuscany. Ruth moved to Italy with her partner James last year and she’s been enjoying Italian life ever since.

Read her latest blog – where she shares her recipe for beef with spiced wine and roast roots.

Another day, another article about how boring motherhood is. Admittedly the writer of the most recent article (published in Grazia today) has a book called ‘Why have kids’ to flog sell.

In my view, Jessica Valenti (who calls herself  a ‘feminist’) appears to  want to deny other women the right to enjoy the fulfillment that motherhood brings.

But I wouldn’t take her musings quite so seriously. Why? Because at the end of the article she admits that while motherhood didn’t bring her ultimate contentment  it is an experience not to missed.

That’s the point though, being a mum isn’t a box to tick – it’s about wanting to care for, nurture and protect another human being, added to that of course  the biologically driven and ultimately selfish desire to replicate ourselves.

So why has she written this book.?Well my guess is her publisher wants to capitalise on the paranoia of many 30 something (mostly single) women who are worried that they will never have children. And the 30something women who have chosen not to have children but feel guilty about that choice.

I can understand why having children might end up leaving some women feeling bereft. But I think that’s more to do with society’s expectations than our own.

Good example: when I told friends and family that I was pregnant again the reaction ranged from: “‘Isn’t Sammy a career girl, surely another will spell the end of hers,” or “I always thought Sammy was a career girl and only wanted one.”

I have to say my career has taken a back seat, in fact it’s so far back it’s squashed underneath the buggy/tricycle and scooter languishing at the back of our battered people carrier.

But that was more because of the recession, if work had been plentiful (i.e. there was still a demand for financial journalists with internet as well as ‘old fashioned’ print experience) then maybe I’d not have had the time to have another. Nor the time to enjoy motherhood so much that despite a very touch and go labour with my daughter I decided it was worth the risk to do it again.

I am scared that having this baby will ultimately spell the end of my career and I will be one of those mums who ends up feeling like she’s lost her arm and gained another head.

To any potential employer, and I’m pretty sure I’ve lost the chance of several jobs because of my mum status, I’m still as driven as I was before we started our  family, even more so.

In fact being a mum has made me the ultimate organised professional. More so as Imogen’s gotten older.

But again if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be and hopefully in the end  I will be able to keep  my career, after all enough 40something women are disappearing from the professional work place, and I don’t intend to be one of them, ever, motherhood or not.

Ageing eh? The alternative, as we all know is far worse, but that doesn’t stop us from trying every potion/lotion/unctures with an ‘anti ageing’ promise on its label.

I didn’t use to fall for such products but in the last year has, I have, to put it nicely, started to look a little tired. Not old, not haggard, just tired. That for me was the deal breaker. My lovely creams and gallons of water were simply not enough, so I’ve embarked upon a quest to make myself myself look more refreshed.

So in the interests of investigative journalism I give you my definitive (well for now anyway) anti-ageing or how to look less tired guide.

(By the way that picture is of me – with no make up and post gym scraped back hair!)

The gadget

I was lucky enough to be invited to test the Slendertone face. This device uses electrical pulses to tighten the facial muscles, a bit like a Power Plate but for the cheekbones. While it didn’t actually make my skin any better, it did give me 20 minutes a day when I was forced to sit down and relax. A few times I even fell asleep. You can choose three different settings, I often went for the revitalising setting, which made me look like I’d had eight hours sleep – when I hadn’t. The only drawback of this one, is the price – £250. For results you need to give this little gadget – which looks like upside down headphones, at least 12 weeks, although I saw results within a week.

Exercise

I’m convinced that regular yoga practice, which is aerobic but not impact heavy, makes my skin look great. But I also like exercising in the fresh air. There’s nothing like a run along the beach to make my skin glow. Luckily I managed to go on a press trip somewhere hot (don’t worry – you’ll read about this another time). During my eight day stay I managed six beach-side runs, combined with some resistance work and yoga stretches in the resort’s fitness centre.  I’m not convinced this made me look younger but it did make sure I slept well even through jet lag. Outdoor exercise  rocks!

Botox/fillers

Just to be clear, I didn’t/haven’t had botox, but I was curious. I visited Ruth Eaton. She’s probably the only person I would trust to insert a needle in my face; she’s a nurse who specialises in aesthetic medicine. One of my bugbears – which has only appeared since I started to look tired, is a line on my forehead (which I get from frowning). She assured me that I didn’t need fillers and my skin,  which is very good apparently, would not benefit from non-surgical treatments such as micro dermabrasion.  A small amount of botox would lift my brow and eliminate my ‘tired’ line for about six months. She did warn me that I would look different and to expect the slightly raised eyebrow look which is sported by an alarming amount of women in the public eye.

The facialist

I had my skin mapped at Dermalogica’s store at the One New Change shopping centre in the city. All the products I’m currently using are good, but I was recommended to try a product called map 15 which you add to your daily moisteriser. I took a sample away to test and I did see a slight difference. I also tried Boots No7 famous Protect and Perfect serum. This was just as good, but at a third of the price.

Sleep

This is the killer – lack of sleep makes you look terrible. For the last week and half I’ve had at least seven hours a night. Managing this has meant going to bed at 9.30 and getting up at 5.30/6 which has reprogrammed my body nicely. Long may this continue as I no longer have dark shadows, yay!

Sun

Everything in moderation and for that includes some sun exposure. Having spent all summer plastering my daughter in cream (well when the sun came out) I deicded to work on my own tan while on my trip abroad. The sun cream of choice was Ultrasun. I used the factor 50 on my body, factor 30 on my face and factor 15 lip balm. Not only did the stuff work it smelt good, not perfumed but not too bland either. I didn’t burn, despite spending a large amount of time ooutside, and we were on the equator where the sun is at its strongest. The result is a light tan which was not achieved by sunbathing for hours but my simply being in the sun doing other things. I hate to admit but  light tan on my face makes me look better than a week in a spa ever could. And you can get this effect just by doing the gardening!

The verdict

All these things together have conspired to make me look, but the crunch probably is the tan I’m now sporting is my favourite anti ageing trick. I have to admit that I’ve also overhauled my diet, and opted for more water and regular meal times – not more or less food – just making sure I eat breakfast lunch and dinner. The rest – as they say – is in the hands of God.

Don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade, oh but I’m going to anyway. My question:  aren’t all these pictures of students jumping up in the air after getting their A level results a bit over staged?

When I got mine, some 20 years ago. I merely glanced at them (an A and a B by the way) and went back to work, I was doing (paid) work experience for our local newspaper.

I knew it then, and it seems to have got forgotten over the years, but the reality was and is that you need more than decent grades and even a degree to secure a decent future. Getting those grades might mean you’ve got into university. But even when the economy is booming getting your dream job or any job is going to take a lot of hard work beyond that.

First you’ll need a hard skin and talent – having family who are well connected and a good degree helps, but I’ve worked alongside Oxbridge graduates who were useless and non graduates who were brilliant, and guess who’s still in journalism (clue: the latter)?

Even then you will need dedication and single mindedness – you’ll need to get work experience and lots of it, unless you are a science or maths supremos who intends making your career in academics/research (and even then you may need to be a bit determined because even those jobs are in short supply).

But most of all you’ll need humility, even at my age I’ve a lot to learn. I don’t assume because I’ve been in journalism for 20 years that I know everything.That’s probably why I didn’t jump for joy when I got my results all those years ago, and why even when I got my 2(i) I didn’t go crazy either.

The journalists and colleagues I’ve worked with and friends in jobs in fact all those making a living, are those who kept their head down and let their work speak for them, not their grades.

Sorry to be a party pooper!

Another day another mummy bashing article.

Today it’s the turn of older mothers; older mothers in this context being mums over the age of 30. According to the writer of the piece that appeared in one of the red tops today, an older mother is someone who gave birth after entering her third decade.

My own definition of older mother is probably more 40, as most of my friends and myself included had children in our 30s; and at 37 I was by no means the oldest mother in any of my parenting groups.

Anyway, this point is this writer says the trend to have children when you’re older is breeding a whole new generation of spoiled brats.

She claims older mothers are more likely to give in to their children because they are so used to getting their own way themselves that having to look after a child is overwhelming.

Rubbish! Parenting is overwhelming whatever age you are, and if you are financially and emotionally stable, as you would be in your 30s,  then surely it’s easy to cope with all the stuff that having children throws at you. Not to mention not having the feeling you’ve sacrificed years of partying/travelling or moving up the career ladder for your kids.

This same woman apparently locked her door so her children couldn’t come in in the morning and even missed sports days and parent’s evenings.

She also knocks older mothers for not having routines, and letting their children run riot when they should be in bed.

Well routines are all very good (and yes I did use a well-known one) but what a child needs to know is that they are loved, and that often means having a cuddle in the early morning, or in the middle of the night sometimes.

There is a flip side, if a child is brought up within a strict routine then they may not be quite so flexible when you do need to change things around, my daughter for example  doesn’t like sleeping anywhere but her own bed.

Anyway the writer of this article is in her late 60s, so is therefore a babyboomer. The same babyboomers who have priced their children/grandchildren out of the housing market by buying two or three or more homes (their pensions  arent’ doing so well apparently) the same babyboomers who have final salary and full state pensions (that we are all paying for).

Ahh and the same generation who voted in governments that have done nothing about the above…

She reckons this generation of children are being spoilt – well if we can’t spoil them now, when can we. What else have they got to look forward to…

The arrest of a 17-year-old boy amid allegations that he posted abusive messages about Olympic diving competitor Tom Daley demonstrates – yet again – the power of the written word wherever it may appear.

In this digitalized, social media-powered age it’s easy to put up comments and air our opinions at the click of a button.

This is, by and large (in my opinion a good thing). Because of this it’s also easy to galvanize the power of the masses, look at the clean up after the London riots last year – all done via a hashtag on Twitter, or the Egyptian and Tunisian revolutions, empowered and made possible by the use of social media; Facebook and micro blogging sites like Twitter.

But this power needs to be used responsibly, otherwise the powers that be, may decide – in their always infinite wisdom – may decide to take on that responsibility for us.

The guy who posted the abusive comments on Twitter – and I have to be careful what I write here – obviously wasn’t perhaps so aware of the power of what he had written. The post he did write that caused most of the uproar appeared to be an ill-informed one; i.e. he wrote something without the full facts (namely that Daley’s dad passed away of cancer). Maybe he wouldn’t have written it if he’d know this? We can’t say.

The thing is, most journalist (more so those that work as investigative/news reporters) will have had years of training and continuing professional development to make sure that every word they write is either based on fact or well-considered opinion.

It’s no defence to copy what another journalist has printed either; unless you have the full facts in shorthand notes or documentation, or in some cases video/tape evidence, you shouldn’t be writing it.

As an internet powered journalist (one of the first I might add) I had to do the same belt and braces whenever I clicked that ‘publish’ button on the site. I’ve worked for some pretty big news websites in my time.

Twitter users need to remember that the same rules go for the internet as for print, and everyone who posts anything on Twitter should probably be aware that their comments can be viewed by milllions of people.

It’s not just the trolls who but sites that share news stories, basically cut and pasting other sites stories and passing them off as their own with a  bit of re-write. They need to watch out too. Because if one of those stories is libellous, then you’ll get sued too.

Original, factual well researched writing never goes out of style, otherwise we’ll all end up as twits.

I’m having a school holiday meltdown, and it’s only week two of the summer holidays – and Imogen isn’t even at full time school yet. Aaargh!!!

As usual it’s those little things that have conspired to make the school holidays just that little bit unmanageable, and panic has set in.

I had intended to take the school holidays off paid work in order to look after Imogen but even so I still do need a bit of time to a) update and write for this site b) do and get freelance work and go for job interviews and c) take some time out to fit in gym visits (which allow me to blow dry my hair and look fairly presentable, not too mention help with stress levels).

The thing is, none of these are likely to get done any time soon. Why? Well:

The holiday club I was intending Imogen to go to only had two days spare the whole six weeks of the holidays. I guess this is my fault but the lady who runs the club took several days to get back to me, after a couple of messages left on her mobile phone,  during which time no doubt other days were booked.

The creche at the gym I’m a member has decided it is no longer a creche and will only take on children for nursery places. This means my one hour trips to the gym which include a workout and or shower with precious time to blow dry my hair are now impossible. I would often sneak in an email – with a feature or story idea – after a workout. So that thinking time is now gone. I wonder what the other mums at the gym think?

I have no relatives around to help pick up the slack and it’s not fair to ask them.

Now some mums I know seem to be able to fit all these things in, around looking after children. But I just can’t – evenings are for me precious time with Andrew.

One friend who doesn’t do juggling (but has a successful career a young child and financial stability) reminded me that it’s actually illegal to try and work while looking after a young child.

My one attempt – I tried sending an email while Imogen was having her lunch – ended in a tantrum, and made me feel even more guilty.

I’m only managing to get my paid consultancy work in first thing in the morning and last thing at night.  In order to get everything done I’m going to have to get a childminder!

Wish me luck x