Kim Kardashian and I have one thing in common, actually make that two, no, no it’s three (there’s my baby brain again!).

I didn’t even know who she was till she announced her pregnancy, just that she seemed to be in the newspapers a lot. But as well as being pregnant Kim, similarity one, and having a girl, similarity two, she is determined to keep up the fitness regime that has won her fans among both men and women who prefer their celebrities curvy (i.e bigger than a size 6).

As with Kim my fitness regime appears to be attracting attention.  Not the paparazzi thankfully, but most certain not very welcome, attention.  I’ve lost count of the stares I get from older men (normally in their 60s/70s when women were supposed to go to ground when they got up the duff) and women (normally in their 30s/40s normally childless) while in the gym. Okay I’m being super sensitive, and I should ignore it but…

At 29 weeks I’m managing 4/5 visits a week doing the static bike or cross trainer for 20-25 minutes for my aerobics (I used to do an hour of either running of 45 minutes spinning pre pregnancy) then a resistance workout involving light weights (3-5kg) and using my own body weight on the stability and fitness balls.

One of my favourite workouts is using light weights on the static bike. I was given this workout by the fabulous Eva at the Nuffield city gym a couple of years back. It’s a 20 minute workout that saves time but doubles up because as well as using my legs I’m working my arms and back too, with all the benefits that it makes to my baby-tipped posture.

Obviously I checked the workout was safe before doing it during pregnancy, and was told as long as I used lighter weights and skipped the overhead arm movements it was a great way to keep fit and (hopefully) ease my labour and post-birth recovery.

That was until the other day when an older man started telling me how ‘dangerous’ my work out was. Nothing new, one of the reasons I stopped exercising last pregnancy was because I kept being told how I needed to take it easy. But this time round the midwives have pointed out that because I’ve worked out the best part of 17 years’ every week it would be just as bad for me to give up in pregnancy as for a non-exerciser to take up exercise in pregnancy.

This time round though I answered back at the guy and told leave me alone, firstly informing him that my workout had been okay-ed by three of the personal trainers at the gym. Still he seemed to think that going to the gym for 15 years (he was slouched over the cross trainer in a way that was probably more likely to injure him than make him fitter) qualified him to know what was safe and was not.

He’s not the only person to stick their oar in since I’ve got pregnant, everything from my parenting (or more like attempts at parenting in between bouts of exhaustion thanks to my average of 3 hours sleep a night) to my cooking, and even my work; although that’s another blog, have come under the eye of the critic.

Apparently I can claim maternity allowance from 29 weeks, and am seriously considering doing so. But one thing’s for sure – I’ll keep up the gym routine with my middle finger ready to flip the bird should another person dare to lecture me on exercise.

It’s sods law, or is that Murphy’s law, oh whatever – I’m sure you know what I mean – in that just as I start to get that pregnancy bloom I am entering the most uncomfortable phase of pregnancy.

At 28 weeks I’m obviously pregnant now, thanks to a rather large bump (I’m sure it’s much bigger this pregnancy but my GP told me the baby is measuring normal for this stage, as Immy did last time round) and I’m feeling all of the 18lbs extra body weight I’m carrying around.

The worst thing is lack of sleep. Sleeping on my back is my preferred position and it is no longer possible without feeling very unwell and very very uncomfortable.

I can sit semi-upright propped up by pillows to stop the pressure on my main artery (which also supplies the baby with her oxygen) but this just looks plain strange as well as not really being the most restful of positions. So I’m trying my best by lying on my left hand side with a pregnancy pillow between my legs. My hips ache at night and my hand will often go dead, but I just have to suck it up for another 11 weeks.

My lack of rest makes it all the more strange, or rather ironic, that three times in the last few weeks I’ve been told how well I look; specifically how much younger I look. To be honest I thought I was just getting sympathy from other women who wanted to make me feel better, that was until I went to my 26 week hospital check up.

The consultant midwife was going through my notes and scowling. “Why have you had to see an obstetrician, you’re perfectly healthy and I see no reason why you should have had to have all the extra appointments?” she demanded before going through my birth plan with me. After half an hour discussing the VBAC birth care pathway (for ladies who want to try for an unassisted birth after a c-section) she mentioned some of the reasons why my attempt to give birth myself might end in another intervention. “Well there’s a higher likelihood if the mother has a high BMI, and you don’t. And if they’ve had several previous c-sections, and you had just one, and then of course there’s age, if you are over 40 your chance is higher, and you’re what,” she said staring at me,  “28,29?”

For a moment there, I wanted to play along with her. She’d not noticed my birth date on the notes and I didn’t want to burst her bubble, let alone mine.

“Actually, I’m not,” I said. “I’m a bit older than that,” I said before revealing my age. “You’re kidding?!” she said. “No, I really am!”

“Ah so that’s why you’ve got to see the consultant.” She said before then backtracking and telling me that even despite my age, I was still find to go ahead with my VBAC plan.

Yesterday at my sister’s I decided to weight myself. It appears the extra stone plus 4lbs I’m carrying has – according to both my sister and my mum – ironed out all the creases in my face. Not that I had many. “You were starting to look haggard Sam. Just before you got pregnant,” they told me.

(thanks I thought)

“But now you look really good. The extra weight suits you,” they chorus.

Shame that, because in 12 weeks time, that extra wieight will have produced a brand new life, God willing, and my haggard sleep-deprived looks will be back with a vengeance.

Where to start with my first blog as a married woman? Well at 25 weeks pregnant – and with my appearance changing week to week (and sometimes day by day) I thought I’d start with my next-stage survival guide.

The last few months have been tough, battling morning sickness and then planning a wedding, has left me feeling knackered. I’ve got two weeks till my final (and most uncomfortable) trimester starts. Yay!

The usual things – stretch marks, dry skin and massive weight gain – have so far evaded me this pregnancy. According to most experts there’s little you can do about stretch marks, so whether you get them or not tends to be a result of a genetic raffle. My mum didn’t get them which may explain why I’ve not got them. That hasn’t stopped me from slathering on the Body Shop coconut butter I got for Christmas though.

Hair-tales

Sitting in the waiting room to see my obstetrician at 22 weeks I had a moment -  many of the other pregnant ladies waiting with me, many of them dressed smartly were not bothering with their hair, leaving it long and unstyled. There were very few women with cropped or bobbed hair. Looking at my own mop (which I had grown to put up for our wedding) I decided a trim was in order.

Pregnancy is probably not the time to go for a really drastic hair cut, because it does shed after birth. Trims are good I told myself and used a 25% off Toni & Guy hair cut voucher in Grazia. I also had £30 worth of Toni & Guy gift vouchers to use, so I got £10 haircut. The lady at Bishops Stortford T&G, Dawn – was great. She also recommended a hair style for when I was feeling like something a bit more on trend (a long Gwyneth Paltrow-style bob, but I’ll come back to you on that one).

Now while I’ve made a personal decision not to dye my hair during pregnancy, there is no evidence that hair dyes can cause any harm to come to the baby but as pregnancy is the one time you can get away with going natural, I’ve decided to. During pregnancy you shed less hair (it does fall out after you have the baby) so your hair will tend to look thicker, and increased blood flow which gives you strong nails and that pregnancy ‘bloom’ also means I’m sporting a glossy full mane of hair at the moment.

So I’ve booked in to have another trim just before baby is born, and I may opt for highlights then. Remember if you are wanting to dye your hair when pregnant you will need a patch test first as the hormone flood that is pregnancy can mean you suddenly develop a reaction to hair dye.

If you must dye your hair, L’Oreal have a dip dye kit which means you don’t have to put the dye anywhere near your scalp. I did try this kit before I got pregnant and would recommend you only use it if you have mid brown or lighter hair, even the kit for dark hair can come out looking orange. And backcomb the bit where you want the dye to ‘join’ your darker hair for a more natural look.

Beauty writer ReallyRee has reviewed it in detail on her blog.

For the next three months dry shampoo (Klorane oat) a regular fringe trim, L’Oreal mythic oil and some Elnett  heat protect smooth should keep me from looking like the wild woman of Bishops Stortford.

Skin-tonics

I had my eye on a Clarisonic, but at £150 a pop, that’s not going to be part of my regime any time soon (but I can dream). However on one of my favourite beauty forums I was alerted that  Boots No7 had bought out a version of the electric cleansing brush, the beautiful cleansing brush, for £25, and was available at a special offer price of £15. But even better I could use one of the £5 No7 vouchers towards it. It’s amazing, but don’t use the strong setting, on sensitive pregnant skin it can be a bit strong. Your usual cleanser will do, as long as it’s a water based foaming one.

At night I’ve been using Clarins blue orchid oil and my usual Dermalogica regime. Dermalogica has bought out some new stuff, but as I only started working again this month I’ll leave that treat till later.

When I get the chance I’ve been dyeing my eyebrows and eyelashes with a kit, and have been using my very well used Shavata brow shaping kit (bought in Marks and Spencers about six years ago).

I’ve also got some Cowshed vouchers to use, I’m saving them up for week 38/39 as a pre-baby/last ditch mummy makeover.

Still fitness crazy

Thanks to my trainer Victoria Thompson, via the Bishops Stortford Nuffield gym. She gave me some great preggers exercises which have given me a more toned bum and legs than a six months pregnant is entitled to have. From 28 weeks (or if we have sudden warm spell) I’m upping my swimming and pilates. Yoga is just too sedate for me right now, I can’t do power yoga nor can I do hot yoga and pregnancy yoga sends me to sleep!  I do incorporate yoga stretches into my cool down regime. I’ve had to stop running as my hips are starting to ache (I got SPD in my first pregnancy) but for now I’m feeling fit, healthy and happy. Oh and I’ve been wearing some gorgeous pregnancy fitness gear from SportyBump. I’ve taken to wearing the yoga leggings around the house and out when shopping/doing the school run.

Food, glorious food

Well thank the Lord for Omeprazole, this little daily table means I can eat. I’ve not had any weird cravings – I did in the early stages when I was feeling sick – but being able to eat most food probably means I’m not too vitamin deficient. I’m sticking with the Boots Omega 3 and pregnancy multivitamins as a top up. My indigestion may be making a return soon, so I’m stuffing up now – all healthy food (she says, hiding the Cadbury caramel mini eggs out of sight).

In five days time I will be married. I’m not scared, I’m not sad, I’m not even amazingly excited. Because it feels like the most natural thing in the world to do.

Not that I’ve actually been single for a few years now,  officially Andrew and I became a couple in January 2007, although it’s a bit more complicated than that. We first met  in April 1997 – nearly 16 years ago and  a week before Tony Blair was elected; we were girlfriend and boyfriend for nearly two years after that.

I don’t ever remember really wanting to be married, or have children, but nearly everyone I have asked (in the purposes of research I might add) tells me that from my early 20s I was telling everyone I wanted to be married and have children. I was as determined in that as I was about having a career in journalism.

I did and do love my job, I still see it as a vocation and is why I work on this website for no financial reward. But I think I realised (in my late 20s and early 30s) if I really wanted marriage and children I would have to let go of some of the things I had felt so important and that were such ‘must haves’.

These things seemed so important to me but when I let go of them,  I found that I could embrace the things that really made me happy – which included spending time with myself and people I cared about, eating well (as in healthily) nurturing real friendships, finding God and Jesus again. That was when love came back to me.

I’m not saying all women and men in search of love should ever compromise, what I am saying is that loving someone and seeing them grow and thrive in that love is more rewarding that any exclusive byline, £1k a week plus salary or exotic press trips. It took me years to work that out and a few more years to let it go.

Having my daughter is a gift which every day I am grateful for beyond words. The same goes for number 2, all being well, I know that at my age I’m lucky to have even got pregnant having seen so many friends in their mid-late 30s and older not able to have children.

I’m still a feminist, but I will be changing my surname, well gradually anyway (my friend Marianne tells me it’s a real b****r to change your bank account to your married name unless you get a new passport first).

On Saturday when I say my vows I will be saying them knowing that my life is going to amazing, not because I have a great career, large pension or a nice wardrobe, it is because I have love, love of my partner,  my family and my friends. That is a gift you can never buy and for one I will never take for granted.

It’s our first Ella Mag Christmas and it really would not be complete without a gift guide. Okay – this less a gift guide, more a not what to buy guide, except of course there are a few suggestions.

Smelly things

If you are going to buy anything that involves a lotion or body cream then make sure it’s a decent brand- Clarins/Boots No7/Cowshed and Sanctuary are all good ones to go for. Supermarket-own brands have their place, namely on the bathroom shelves of grannies and aunts. In fact one of our favourite beauty buys of the year is No7’s body exfoliator, but you don’t want to buy this alone (she may be insulted!)  opt for a No7 gift sets with body lotion and your lady will not only thank you for it, she’ll think you’re a genuis. We also love Aveda gift sets, you can’t go wrong with some gorgeous-smelling shampoo, or even a candle.

Underwear

Don’t make the mistake of buying ill fitting/scratchy/tasteless bras and knickers. Instead buy your loved one vouchers in the nearest posh underwear shop, and let your lady do the choosing. And it’s a great excuse to shop in the sales. Carols in Bishops Stortford is our local underwear boutique. Alternatively go online and get vouchers for sites such as FigLeaves.

Gadget no nos!

Much as us ladies love gadgets Christmas is not a time to buy vicariously. So as much as your lady might show an interest in a gadget that measures her body fat/sleep patterns/loo habits etc – she’s probably rather you bought her something cool like a pair of fluffy headphones that double up as earmuffs – fashion and function can’t go wrong with that.

Perfume

Do not buy anything you are not sure about. Even if you know that she loved Chanel No5 when she was a teenager she may not like it now. For example I went off a bunch of smells when I was pregnant first time round, including a perfume I’d loved for years. Even now some of them still make feel feel unwell.  So unless you know for sure what fragrance she likes – don’t buy at all.

Books

Chances are she owns 50 Shades of Grey already. If you are going to buy her book buy a coffee table book Nigella’s Nigellissima is great because it shows you think of her as a domestic goddess or at least have the potential to be one.  Anything by Bobbi Brown is always cool. If you want to go the extra mile buy her a book with intelligence,  (Personally I’d like to read Naomi Woolf’s Misconceptions, it’s been on my must read list for ages – Sam, ed)

Let us know if you have any other suggestions – we’ll be aiming to update this list in the run up to Christmas.

We have just over two weeks till our wedding, and I’m now 17 weeks pregnant. That’s stress enough, but I’ve decided to add whole new level of worry to my pregnancy; career panic.

After writing my blog on the vanishing woman, I had a number of emails from other women who’d experienced the same thing. Once they’d had a family AND dared to reach the age of 40, they’d found that they had hit what one lady called a ‘nappy lined ceiling’.

As the mother of one young child I’d found working full time not just liberating but surprisingly easy to manage, until I got headhunted and then made redundant by the company that had professed to want my journalistic skills only to decide they were ‘baggage’. Still if I’d stayed in my FTSE 100 company job I might still have found that I’d hit the same ceiling as other professional women my age, so there are no guarantees.

Anyway, I’m up the duff again and my freelance career has stalled because I’ve been too exhausted to pursue work and way too exhausted and nauseous to go out and network which is what I really need to do.

My solution is to use my ‘down time’ i.e. take semi maternity leave, and rather than lie on the sofa, take advantage of some training courses I’ve been offered. Most  involve updating my skills and adding to them. I’m also going to do an online course on selling myself – which I was reluctant to do but realise that if you can’t beat them, you have to join them.

Then of course there’s the YMCA fitness course I’m planning to take after I’ve had the baby. Hmm, let’s just take one thing at time!

My pregnancy – week 17:

The big squeeze

I finally popped last week, and was unable to do my jeans up – about time you’re probably saying. So am I. Wasn’t really relishing buying maternity wear this time round except a JoJoMamanBebe has opened in Bishops Stortford and have been wanting and excuse to buy myself some nice stuff. Have to say here that I am in fact I’m saving most of my pennies to update my wardrobe and image after baby is born – have already booked my highlights and trendy hair cut for next May – rather than spend loads of baggy maternity wear.

Anyhow  I summoned up the energy to go shopping in JoJo, with Immy in tow, and they didn’t stock my size in jeggings! The shop assistant said they may/may not get some in the next few days (don’t they want my money!?) Anyway I’m still sitting here in my size 10 (boyfriend style admittedly) Gap jeans with my flies undone! As I keep telling everyone – I’m living on the edge!

Bra-vo!

I had some Hot Milk underwear sent to me last pregnancy and I have been wearing it ever since, that and a couple of Agent Provocateur maternity bras. Now as lovely as these bras are, they did need replacing. Being more frugal than I used to be I made do with a couple of M&S maternity bras, then I was sent the most wonderfully comfortable maternity bra.,the  Bravado body silk seamless bra (which can be bought in department stores including John Lewis).  As I’m ‘only’ a 32 D at the moment I’ve got the medium size.

Of course I can expect that part of my body to get a bit bigger, and that’s when I’ll have to invest in a few more bras, particularly nursing bras.

I’ve already dumped my underwired bras because they are so uncomfortable and no wonder. Poppy of Bravado told me that  wearing an underwired bra during the later stages of pregnancy can put pressure on the milk ducts, which can lead to mastitis. An ill-fitting underwired bra could also affect breastfeeding, but I’m not going to worry about that quite yet.

It could be the Sea Bands Mama acupressure wristbands (had to link to these as they are that good and no I don’t get paid for any links on this site) or it could be the fact I’m nearly 15 weeks pregnant, but the fact that I’m actually able to write this at nearly 8pm (8pm!!) feels like a miracle in itself.

The bands, which are used to help with seasickness, have a small button which applies pressure  on the P6 (Nei-Kuan) point between the two central tendons near the wrist. No I’m not 100% sure what this is either but it appears to have worked. For now anyway. That and the Gaviscon I’ve been glugging down.

I might even have a curry for dinner?! Although  maybe that might be chancing it a bit too much.

After the  CVS I’m still taking it easy but it  appears my work mojo has kicked in again. After a month spent doing virtually nothing but the odd article I suddenly found myself feeling more like the Samantha of old.

It helped that a fellow freelance  asked me to talk him through the content management system of a website he was working on and one I was very familiar with.

We met over a quick coffee in the city and during the conversation I realised while helping him that I actually have amassed quite a lot of knowledge from the 13 odd years I’ve spent writing for/helping launch/design etc media websites that a lot of other people simply don’t have.

I realised that I’ve let myself get into a bit of ‘pit’ during my morning sickness period, and realising I still have  lot to offer the corporate editorial world was a huge boost  I really did need.

Now I’m feeling better I’m determined to make sure I use this knowledge to keep myself in the game, after all (Andrew does have a full time job by the way) we’ll have another mouth to feed soon, and if that isn’t enough to get me off my (slightly larger) backside, I don’t know what is.

I love my exercise I really do – as you may have guessed. For the first 12 weeks I managed – around bouts of morning sickness – to fit in a fairly respectable regime.

This included 5km cycles  on the static bike, or 15 minutes on the spinning bike followed by weights,  or  20 minute runs on the treadmill (with a minimum 3% incline as anything else is cheating) or some circuits around the park. I even fitted in my pregnancy yoga DVD (Shiva Rea) and some pilates classes.

Nothing like my pre-pregnancy regime of 2x spinning class, 3/4 x30 minutes of yoga, 2 runs (including a 10k most weeks) but still I was feeling proud of myself, I was doing best for baby and me.

I’d wanted to keep up the spinning but all the teachers have effectively banned me, claiming that even if I kept the resistance low and didn’t do any of the more fancy moves (such as riding out of the seat) a mild spot of spinning still involved a lot of pelvis bumping, which was not good for the baby. As most of the teachers have had babies themselves- I took their advice more seriously than I might some of the male teachers – who also advised against by the way.

Then I read about Nell McAndrew, doing a minimum of a 10k run every day. Phew! Lucky lady. At  first I’ll admit I felt jealous, then a bit guilty (I am a Catholic after all) then I realised that I’d downsized my regime (which I’ve been told is almost athletic standard) for a reason – I was pregnant!

I know Nell is very fit and runs marathons, but I still couldn’t help but compare myself with her.  Had I’d become a lazy, pregnant lady?

The answer was obviously ‘no’ and I found out as much when I went for the first scan, the 12 week job.

I was weighed just before the scan and to my surprise,  I’d only managed to put on 2lbs, or less than  a kilo,  in the first three months of my pregnancy.

The baby was fine, after all it takes everything first but my body was obviously working overtime. So over the following fews days I kept dragging myself to the gym nonetheless.

Then we had our first baby scare, a blood test had shown I had above average levels  of HCG ( the pregnancy hormone that makes that blue line appear on the pregnancy test). No only did it explain my morning sickness it also  indicated there may be a problem with the baby.

Within days we’d been booked to have a private CVS test at a hospital in London.  The test involved having a needle inserted into my tummy in order to extract some of the placenta, which would be tested for various genetic abnomalities.

The test was clear as we found out just two days later, but having a  CVS increases the risk of miscarriage for up to two to three weeks afterwards. Three weeks during which the only exercise I will be doing is lifting food to my mouth, if I can manage to keep it down that is.

I’ve had my reality check, exercise is great for maintaining or at the very least keeping up a modicum of my previous fitness, so I can benefit from all those years of training my pregnancy. But that’s why I kept fit, to have a healthy baby, and doing 10k runs every day – for me – is probably a fitness regime too far.

That’s not to say I’m going to sit on the sofa and scoff myself  either, I’m going to be going to body balance and yoga.

I’ll have to avoid reading about ladies who do marathons while pregnant and stick to what is best for me, and that means trying to stay pregnant and healthy.

Oh and buying a maternity bra, which is what I’m probably going to be blogging about next.

I’m pregnant – 13 weeks and a day, according to the dating scan we had last week. Baby Soames (no 2) is fine, and growing nicely with two arms two legs and head and the works, thank God and praise be!

If I sound a little clinical then maybe it’s because the joy at finding out I was pregnant for the second time (we have a 3 year, 10 month-old daughter) was soon usurped by eight weeks (and counting) of  morning sickness.

Pregnancy is the time where you should be able to eat what you like and do what you like; i.e skip the housework for watching Downtown Abbey/Homeland and scoffing a box of Godiva’s finest chocs. It’s a time for indulgence, lots of treats and being totally spoiled by your other half!

Has it hell! I had about a week after finding out I was incubating the next generation  of healthy eating, exercise (including a couple of spin classes) and generally looking like a glowing pregnant lady without the bump until…

a week on, I was lying on the sofa unable to do much more than knock back Gaviscon before during and after every meal. My favourite foods, including spinach and tofu are and were off the menu, because they either taste awful, smell awful or just feel awful.

My first pregnancy now seems like a breeze, although I did have indigestion and some moments of nausea, I never actually went off food; in fact by this stage of my first pregnancy I’d put on 6lbs (I kept a diary!!). This time round I’ve actually lost weight, so much so my GP prodded me when I went to see him for a check up ‘Yes, you are 12 weeks pregnant,” he told me after nearly making me sick.

But life goes on – preggars or not and I need to look at least half decent for our wedding next month,  feel like a member of the human race, and try to enjoy what will be last pregnancy. So instead of a bridal boot camp -  I’ve had to roll out the morning sickness boot camp. Warning; a lot of the following things I did despite myself, but found that afterwards, I did feel better, honestly!

1) Drinking warm water, preferably mixed with mineral water (tap water tastes awful) sipped throughout the day stopped me feeling the sickness you get from dehydration.  Cold water was too cold and boiling water was too hot ; I sound like Goldilocks but being hydrated saw of the worst of the toilet bowl feeling.

2) Doing at least one thing a day that involved maintaining my appearance. On my bad days it was combing my hair and washing my face. On good days I managed to dye my eyebrows and eyelashes and give myself a facial. I even managed to put make up on some days.

3) Eat! Through trial and error I learned to avoid spicy foods, over processed foods (I can’t stomach most sweets and chocolates) and really acidic foods.  My usual soya milk appears to be giving me indigestion so I’ve been drinking lactose-free milk. Okay it’s not the tastiest diet but it works, as I discovered when I was tempted by some sweets and cakes  on Halloween.

4) Start early – a banana and a glass of fizzy water first thing meant I could drag myself out of bed.

5) Keeping active – during good hours I’ve managed to go for gentle runs and some weights at the gym.It’s helped me sleep better and keep my appetite up. Luckily I’ve not been too exhausted, its more the nausea that’s caught me this time round, if you are feeling tired skip the gym and rest!

6) Caffeine, no, but coffee -yes! My one indulgence has been flavoured de-caffeinated coffee. When you can’t eat chocolate, an egg nog latte is just about sweet enough to manage and feel like I’m treating myself.  It also got me through a few deadlines when I all I wanted to do was stick my head down the loo.

7) Make time for loved ones. With a young daughter a husband to be and close family that live down the road, it can feel like an almighty effort to engage in even the most basic of conversations. But it’s important to try and smile once in a while and ask other people how they are. It’s true pregnancy brings out the hermit in me, but it doesn’t mean I’m not still a member of the human race.

Another day, another article about how boring motherhood is. Admittedly the writer of the most recent article (published in Grazia today) has a book called ‘Why have kids’ to flog sell.

In my view, Jessica Valenti (who calls herself  a ‘feminist’) appears to  want to deny other women the right to enjoy the fulfillment that motherhood brings.

But I wouldn’t take her musings quite so seriously. Why? Because at the end of the article she admits that while motherhood didn’t bring her ultimate contentment  it is an experience not to missed.

That’s the point though, being a mum isn’t a box to tick – it’s about wanting to care for, nurture and protect another human being, added to that of course  the biologically driven and ultimately selfish desire to replicate ourselves.

So why has she written this book.?Well my guess is her publisher wants to capitalise on the paranoia of many 30 something (mostly single) women who are worried that they will never have children. And the 30something women who have chosen not to have children but feel guilty about that choice.

I can understand why having children might end up leaving some women feeling bereft. But I think that’s more to do with society’s expectations than our own.

Good example: when I told friends and family that I was pregnant again the reaction ranged from: “‘Isn’t Sammy a career girl, surely another will spell the end of hers,” or “I always thought Sammy was a career girl and only wanted one.”

I have to say my career has taken a back seat, in fact it’s so far back it’s squashed underneath the buggy/tricycle and scooter languishing at the back of our battered people carrier.

But that was more because of the recession, if work had been plentiful (i.e. there was still a demand for financial journalists with internet as well as ‘old fashioned’ print experience) then maybe I’d not have had the time to have another. Nor the time to enjoy motherhood so much that despite a very touch and go labour with my daughter I decided it was worth the risk to do it again.

I am scared that having this baby will ultimately spell the end of my career and I will be one of those mums who ends up feeling like she’s lost her arm and gained another head.

To any potential employer, and I’m pretty sure I’ve lost the chance of several jobs because of my mum status, I’m still as driven as I was before we started our  family, even more so.

In fact being a mum has made me the ultimate organised professional. More so as Imogen’s gotten older.

But again if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be and hopefully in the end  I will be able to keep  my career, after all enough 40something women are disappearing from the professional work place, and I don’t intend to be one of them, ever, motherhood or not.