Being a mum brings out the best and the worst in me.

I’m not really known for my patience, yet when it comes to my daughter I can, most of the time, enact the sort of self control I only thought possible of a saint (I’m a Catholic by the way).

But I am known for being quite mild mannered, highly strung and excitable yes, but not really prone to sudden outbursts.  However this has changed, and I’m finding that when it comes to badly behaved children I can raise my voice with the rest of them.

Last week, Immy and I were at one of our local playgrounds (there are loads round here including one next door to us). Immy was quite happily playing on the helter skelter slide, along with another little girl  and boy when along come a group of older boys; I’d say they were about 4- 6 years old.

Now these boys decided that they were going to play a game of ‘blockage’ – inspired after one of the parents (a dad) came over to the slide and insisted on taking a picture of them all lined up at the top of the slide.

From then on it was chaos all four – sometimes five boys would go halfway down the slide and stay there shouting at each other,  ‘blockage! blockage!”

Thing is my daughter and several other little ones couldn’t go down the slide (being sensible) and there was a danger that one of these boys would fall off.

None of their parents made an appearance so it was up to me to speak very loudly at them “You need to get down NOW!”. I did this several times, finally it sunk in, and all the children got their turn down the slide.

Now what is it about parents? Couldn’t one of them have helped me?

Which brings me on to my other dilemma. Do I start a reward chart for Imogen. Plenty of other mums and dads I know give their children stickers when they do something well.

As much as I like this idea, part of me is a bit adverse to it. I’m not sure I should be rewarding Imogen for picking up her toys, going to bed when asked, eating her dinner, being well behaved around friends, learning share etc.

I do treat her, but treats are not something I want her to expect or earn. My friends who do the reward charts do have more than one child, so I guess I might think differently if we ever have another.  But to be brutal about it- Imogen’s behaviour is a reflection of how I treat her and her being the sole object of my attention I would expect her to behave. So if anyone is to punished (or maybe rewarded) it should be me. Until she’s a bit older or course.

Those who know me and those who’ve read my blogs will know I’m not a cook. In fact so bad a cook am I, that when I was younger I was banned from cooking because everything I made I burned.

I do like reading the odd Nigella recipe and have even been know to turn out okay versions of Delia Smith’s creations, but I am not a cook. I’ll say it again – I’m not a good cook.

Thing is now I don’t really have any choice in the matter, not after our household chef only went and got himself a day job, one that requires proper sustenance after a hard day in the office or driving round the country, as his role entails. Not my attempts at healthy cuisine such as peanut butter and rice, no he needs dishes that often require lots of cheese and, gasp, pastry!

I’m getting there though, my macaroni cheese isn’t too bad and tonight I’ve manged to avoid burning the onions for the gnocchi sauce.

My new energies in the kitchen mean I have to plan ahead for Imogen’s meals. I’ve managed to pull together rice, chicken and vegetables without burning it, and even a baby dahl which she liked until she went off tomatoes.

Children eh? Faddy fussy eaters but – went you’ve got your own chef, why not?

I’m not a fan of packet food. But I’d had a rubbish day chasing payments and what should arrive through the door but a sample of a ready-made pumpkin risotto. Perfect. It took 12 mintues to make and Immy loved it. I didn’t look at the salt content but Riso Gallo Risotto Pronto, £1.99 from Waitrose, was just what we needed, thanks kindly PR.It has also inspired me to try and make risotto, but don’t hold your breath.

Other packet foods I’m not ashamed of having in the cupboard include, gnocchi (and pesto), custard (very good when having three fussy eaters to cater for), chopped spinach, ready-cooked rice (admittedly cooked by me then frozen) and UHT milk for smoothies.

I don’t think it’s too bad to eat from packets now and again!

(Pic by HerryLawford courtesy of Flickr)

Ella mag’s editor Samantha Downes has a warning for parents as the new school term approaches…

Now for a fortysomething woman of the world I can be awfully soft. And I say as much to my family, when they wonder why time and time again I get so easily upset by what they all call the ‘little things’.

Well, I had a bit of a wake up call today, and a taste of what the less pleasant aspects of parenthood will involve. I’m not talking about my daughter but parents, in particular other, less scrupulous and I’m guessing much more hard of heart  parents than I probably am.

I’m talking about parents who are quite happy to walk with your child’s clothing without so much as a shudder of conscience.

Imogen has a coat, it’s not designer but it wasn’t as cheap as chips either. I bought it in September last year – and I made sure to buy the next size up – an age three to four rather than an age  two to three size.

For a while Imogen was the only child in nursery with the coat. But since then three other little girls have been wearing the same coat, including two more after the Christmas break.

I should have put a label in it, but I didn’t.  Note to other parents – always, always label your child’s clothes when they go to nursery/pre-school.

On Tuesday after school Imogen skipped through the front door without her coat. Andrew came in sheepishly – telling me that one of the other girls had accidentally taken the coat home with her. WE knew Immy had the wrong coat because the one on her peg was labelled with the other child’s name.

So this morning, I was given what appeared to be Imogen’s coat. I checked the size label and it was a size 2-3 and unlike Immy’s coat it had been worn and had a few stains. I pointed out to the lovely ladies that we’d been given the wrong coat back.

The lady in charge of the nursery called us to tell us there were two unlabelled coats – one size 2-3 and one size 3-4. We insisted the 3-4 size was Immy’s. But apparently the mother of the other little girl was insisting the coat was her daughter’s.

In the interests of not making a fuss we ended up taking the smaller coat home with us this afternoon. But I’m actually really upset about this, a parent has effectively ‘upgraded’ their smaller coat to a larger one at our expense.

It’s my daughter I feel angry for, should I dig in and make a fuss? Or leave it, because the only people who will be made unhappy and upset are Imogen and her nursery carers – who are all lovely.

The mum who has got the larger coat, probably doesn’t give a damn.

When I ask – how can people do things like this? I guess I only have to look around – at businesses who employ cheap labour/banks that overcharge/people who don’t seem to pay proportionate amounts of tax to their earnings? And then I go ahhhh.

It’s not a fair world, and Imogen’s coat isn’t life or death, but I’m filing this one under lessons learned. And I’m not going to be quite so soft again. Oh and we’ve already ordered some clothes labels.

More and more children, it seems, are being diagnosed with allergies.

An allergy means that your child’s immune system is triggered into an allergic reaction when it comes into contact with allergen – a substance that causes an allergic reaction.

Basically the immune system believes the substance, such as nuts, milk or pollen, as harmful and will produce antibodies to fight it.

This in turn causes your body to release chemicals, cause physical symptoms such as a runny nose, to rid the body of the harmful invader.

The good news is that most children tend to grow out of them as their immune system matures, the bad news is that while they have them, parents have to be extra cautious when it comes to managing them correctly and preventing flare ups.

Food allergies

According to healthcare provider Bupa food allergies are the most common form of childhood allergy.

Most common foods that cause allergies include peanuts, tree nuts (Brazils, almonds, cashews, hazelnuts, walnuts and pecans), fish and shellfish, cows’ milk, eggs, soya and wheat..

Hay fever

Hay fever is an allergy to pollen, pet fur or house dust, in children it doesn’t normally develop until they are about seven.

Sensitivity to chemicals

Younger children may get allergic reactions to certain everyday chemicals, such as certain washing powders. This normally takes the form of eczema.

How to recognise an allergy

These are some common reactions, according to Bupa.

• skin reactions (e.g swelling and itching, a rash around your mouth, eczema and flushing)
• wheezing or shortness of breath  – asthma
• diarrhoea, feeling sick, vomiting and bloating
• coughing
• a runny nose
• sore, red and itchy eyes
• itchy or swollen lips, mouth, tongue and throat

A peanut or nut allergy can be triggered just by being in the same room where the food has been.

The worse case scenario

You may have heard of an allergic reaction called anaphylaxis, or anaphylactic shock. This is rare but can be fatal.

The allergic reaction is so intense it can swelling of the airways and throat, making it difficult to breathe. If this happens the suffer can lose consciousness.

So what causes allergies?

There is lot of debate about how allergies start. Doctors believe that some food allergies start in the womb.

There is also some evidence that breastfeeding after eating certain foods, can trigger an allergy; although not in the case of peanuts.

Children with parents who have eczema or asthma, are also thought to be more likely to develop allergies themselves.

How to diagnose an allergy

Your GP will need to refer your child to an allergy clinic before a diagnosis can be made. At the clinic your child may be given  skin prick tests – when  extracts of the suspected allergens are put on a small patch of skin, usually the forearm or back, and a very small, fine scratch is made. If the skin turns red, an allergy to that substance can be diagnosed.

If a food allergy is suspected an ‘elimination and challenge diet’ – where you remove the suspected allergy food from your youngster’s diet. If symptoms get better then the food can be re-introduced to confirm an allergy. If a severe allergy is suspected, this will be done under medical supervision in hospital.

Blood tests. The RAST (radioallergosorbent) test measures levels of food-specific antibodies in your blood.

How do you treat an allergy?

If the allergen cannot be avoided, such as pollen, then you need to treat the symptoms, which can be controlled by using an antihistamine.

With skin sensitivity and food allergies, avoidance – if possible – is the best option.

Of course if your child has a severe food allergy, then they may be at risk of anaphylaxis and will need to take certain precautions, checking food packaging, letting other family members and other carers know.

Allergies: earn warning signs in children:

The following symptoms were published on the BBC online health site in 2007. but provide a useful guide to parents who think their child may have an allergy.

Allergic shiners

Allergic children and adults have typical darkening around the eyes called allergic shiners. This blue discoloration is caused by congested veins and looks like smudged mascara.

Dennie-Morgan lines

Young children with nasal and chest allergies have characteristic Dennie-Morgan lines. These are crease-like wrinkles that form under the lower eyelid folds.

Long face syndrome

Children with asthma and nasal allergies have so-called long face syndrome: a high-arched palate and protruding upper teeth. This develops after years of constant nasal blockage.

The nasal mucous membranes (turbinates) swell from irritation, so much so that the nasal passages become completely blocked. These children are forced to breathe through their mouths, which also affects tooth growth.

Nasal salute

Intense nasal itching leads to the ‘nasal salute’ – the child tends to rub their nose with the palm of the hand, usually in an upward direction. This constant rubbing leads to a crease or wrinkle across the bridge of the nose.

Facial tics

Children with nasal allergies tend to pull funny faces, as their noses are always itching. They may then go on to develop uncontrollable facial tics or twitches and constantly sniff, making strange noises.

Teachers often complain they’re being naughty and fooling around, when the real cause is an untreated nasal allergy.

Keratosis pilaris

Children with allergies, and potential eczema sufferers, have characteristic dryness and roughness of the skin, particularly on the cheeks, upper arms and chest. This dryness is called xerosis and usually has a sandpaper-like texture called keratosis pilaris, which reduces the skin barrier to irritants and infection.

Atopic eczema

Atopic eczema may develop as a consequence of dry skin, especially in the elbow and knee joints of children. Children with eczema constantly fidget and scratch, leading to a misdiagnosis of being hyperactive, when in fact it’s their itchy skin distracting them.

Conjunctivitis

With chronic eye allergies, the inner parts of the eyelids develop a swollen, cobblestone-like appearance from allergic conjunctivitis.

Children also tend to rub away the outer third of their eyebrows.

Glue ear

Children with nasal allergies may develop glue ear, when mucous becomes trapped behind the eardrum in the middle ear. This results in temporary deafness, discomfort and a poor attention span.

Postnasal drip

Children may experience a constant postnasal drip and repeated sore throats from allergic mucous building up and being discharged into the throat. Serious nasal allergies also reduce children’s senses of taste and smell.

Futher help and support:

Allergy UK has lots of help and support for parents .

The NHS website also has plenty of information if you think your child has an allergy.