What’s it like to give birth at home? One mum tells us how her two home births ended up being very different (but still wonderful) experiences.

How many home births have you had?

I have two children – both of whom were born at home – a two-year old girl and a six-week old boy.  With my daughter, I had a home birth which was attended by NHS midwives.  However, I booked a home birth with a private midwife during my second pregnancy.

Why did you want a home birth?

I was a coward that was too afraid to attend hospital…or to get in a car during labour!  I was also very well during both of my pregnancies and didn’t feel as though I belonged in a hospital which I associate with sick people.

Did you have to push (‘excuse the pun) for a home birth?

The first time round home birth was offered as a standard option by my NHS midwife during my first pregnancy. If she hadn’t made me aware of this, I might not have even considered it.  As soon as I had decided to have a home birth, I told my midwife and she completed the paperwork for me.

I was low risk throughout my pregnancy so my decision was never questioned by the midwives or doctors. Booking me in for a homebirth was simply a formality.

The second time round, it was very different.

How different?

I felt that the local midwifery services were under-resourced and my pre-natal care was inconsistent so at 36 weeks pregnant we decided to book a private midwife.

How were your friends and family about your decision?

My husband was very supportive.  The first time, we did not tell anyone as we did not want to be influenced by the views of friends and family until after I had given birth, and I would have felt uncomfortable if my neighbours had been aware of when I was in the middle of labour.

The second time, everyone assumed that I was going to have a home birth and nobody voiced any concerns as it had gone so smoothly the first time!  This did however, mean that all my neighbours knew when I was in labour (not helped by the fact that I was 10 days overdue)…in fact I had conversations outside with two of my neighbours while I was in labour which added to the experience!.

What support was offered – one midwife or two, and were you given
options if things got difficult?

In both cases, I had one midwife for the first stage of labour, who stayed with me the entire time, and an additional midwife for the second and third stages of labour to assist in case of complications.

I was booked into the local hospital (Harlow) in case an emergency transfer was needed. I was not concerned about emergencies as, not only was I low risk, I was confident that I could be transferred to hospital in the time that it would take the medical teams to set up a theatre and assemble all of the staff for an emergency section.

You paid for a midwife the second time, what difference did that make?

I paid a fixed fee which included a significant amount of postnatal care and support which is harder for the NHS to provide.

What room did you decide to give birth in and why?

We have a detatched house and I gave birth in our family snug…which has become a play room. It felt like a very private room that I was comfortable in.

I chose not to have a birthing pool but one would have been supplied as part of the package with the private midwife service.  The NHS midwife also advised on where I could hire a pool if I had wanted one.

What was similar – was there in difference in attitude of midwives?

As I only booked the private midwife at 36 weeks, I cannot really comment on antenatal care, except that as a working mother who commutes, it was very convenient when the private midwife attended my home for the antenatal appointments.  It was also comforting to build up a rapport with the same midwife who was going to deliver my baby.

I had a lovely experience of labour for both of my children and the midwives were very supportive.  The key difference for me was in the post natal care which is 30 days following the birth with the the private midwife.  This included access to the midwife who was on-call 24/7.  Without this, I probably would not have breastfed my son, who unlike my daughter, could not latch on properly at first.

What were the best things about your homebirths?

Eating chocolate cake (which I baked during labour) and drinking champagne with my husband soon after the event! Going to bed with my husband and newborn baby within two hours of giving birth

What were the worst?

Your neighbours knowing when you are in labour and the opinions of friends and family.

What do you think are the most common myths about homebirths?

That there will be a mess in your house and nothing can be done in the event of an emergency.

For more information about home births see the NHS Choices website you can also get support and information from the National Childbirth Trust

To connect with other mum to bes considering home birth you might want to look at Askamum or Mumsnet.com

More and more children, it seems, are being diagnosed with allergies.

An allergy means that your child’s immune system is triggered into an allergic reaction when it comes into contact with allergen – a substance that causes an allergic reaction.

Basically the immune system believes the substance, such as nuts, milk or pollen, as harmful and will produce antibodies to fight it.

This in turn causes your body to release chemicals, cause physical symptoms such as a runny nose, to rid the body of the harmful invader.

The good news is that most children tend to grow out of them as their immune system matures, the bad news is that while they have them, parents have to be extra cautious when it comes to managing them correctly and preventing flare ups.

Food allergies

According to healthcare provider Bupa food allergies are the most common form of childhood allergy.

Most common foods that cause allergies include peanuts, tree nuts (Brazils, almonds, cashews, hazelnuts, walnuts and pecans), fish and shellfish, cows’ milk, eggs, soya and wheat..

Hay fever

Hay fever is an allergy to pollen, pet fur or house dust, in children it doesn’t normally develop until they are about seven.

Sensitivity to chemicals

Younger children may get allergic reactions to certain everyday chemicals, such as certain washing powders. This normally takes the form of eczema.

How to recognise an allergy

These are some common reactions, according to Bupa.

• skin reactions (e.g swelling and itching, a rash around your mouth, eczema and flushing)
• wheezing or shortness of breath  – asthma
• diarrhoea, feeling sick, vomiting and bloating
• coughing
• a runny nose
• sore, red and itchy eyes
• itchy or swollen lips, mouth, tongue and throat

A peanut or nut allergy can be triggered just by being in the same room where the food has been.

The worse case scenario

You may have heard of an allergic reaction called anaphylaxis, or anaphylactic shock. This is rare but can be fatal.

The allergic reaction is so intense it can swelling of the airways and throat, making it difficult to breathe. If this happens the suffer can lose consciousness.

So what causes allergies?

There is lot of debate about how allergies start. Doctors believe that some food allergies start in the womb.

There is also some evidence that breastfeeding after eating certain foods, can trigger an allergy; although not in the case of peanuts.

Children with parents who have eczema or asthma, are also thought to be more likely to develop allergies themselves.

How to diagnose an allergy

Your GP will need to refer your child to an allergy clinic before a diagnosis can be made. At the clinic your child may be given  skin prick tests – when  extracts of the suspected allergens are put on a small patch of skin, usually the forearm or back, and a very small, fine scratch is made. If the skin turns red, an allergy to that substance can be diagnosed.

If a food allergy is suspected an ‘elimination and challenge diet’ – where you remove the suspected allergy food from your youngster’s diet. If symptoms get better then the food can be re-introduced to confirm an allergy. If a severe allergy is suspected, this will be done under medical supervision in hospital.

Blood tests. The RAST (radioallergosorbent) test measures levels of food-specific antibodies in your blood.

How do you treat an allergy?

If the allergen cannot be avoided, such as pollen, then you need to treat the symptoms, which can be controlled by using an antihistamine.

With skin sensitivity and food allergies, avoidance – if possible – is the best option.

Of course if your child has a severe food allergy, then they may be at risk of anaphylaxis and will need to take certain precautions, checking food packaging, letting other family members and other carers know.

Allergies: earn warning signs in children:

The following symptoms were published on the BBC online health site in 2007. but provide a useful guide to parents who think their child may have an allergy.

Allergic shiners

Allergic children and adults have typical darkening around the eyes called allergic shiners. This blue discoloration is caused by congested veins and looks like smudged mascara.

Dennie-Morgan lines

Young children with nasal and chest allergies have characteristic Dennie-Morgan lines. These are crease-like wrinkles that form under the lower eyelid folds.

Long face syndrome

Children with asthma and nasal allergies have so-called long face syndrome: a high-arched palate and protruding upper teeth. This develops after years of constant nasal blockage.

The nasal mucous membranes (turbinates) swell from irritation, so much so that the nasal passages become completely blocked. These children are forced to breathe through their mouths, which also affects tooth growth.

Nasal salute

Intense nasal itching leads to the ‘nasal salute’ – the child tends to rub their nose with the palm of the hand, usually in an upward direction. This constant rubbing leads to a crease or wrinkle across the bridge of the nose.

Facial tics

Children with nasal allergies tend to pull funny faces, as their noses are always itching. They may then go on to develop uncontrollable facial tics or twitches and constantly sniff, making strange noises.

Teachers often complain they’re being naughty and fooling around, when the real cause is an untreated nasal allergy.

Keratosis pilaris

Children with allergies, and potential eczema sufferers, have characteristic dryness and roughness of the skin, particularly on the cheeks, upper arms and chest. This dryness is called xerosis and usually has a sandpaper-like texture called keratosis pilaris, which reduces the skin barrier to irritants and infection.

Atopic eczema

Atopic eczema may develop as a consequence of dry skin, especially in the elbow and knee joints of children. Children with eczema constantly fidget and scratch, leading to a misdiagnosis of being hyperactive, when in fact it’s their itchy skin distracting them.

Conjunctivitis

With chronic eye allergies, the inner parts of the eyelids develop a swollen, cobblestone-like appearance from allergic conjunctivitis.

Children also tend to rub away the outer third of their eyebrows.

Glue ear

Children with nasal allergies may develop glue ear, when mucous becomes trapped behind the eardrum in the middle ear. This results in temporary deafness, discomfort and a poor attention span.

Postnasal drip

Children may experience a constant postnasal drip and repeated sore throats from allergic mucous building up and being discharged into the throat. Serious nasal allergies also reduce children’s senses of taste and smell.

Futher help and support:

Allergy UK has lots of help and support for parents .

The NHS website also has plenty of information if you think your child has an allergy.

Stories of celebrities getting their body back within weeks, some even days, of giving birth, the women who – days after a c-section – return to high-powered roles. It’s enough to make most women still coping with sleepless nights and flabby tummies, feel a bit inadequate.

Thankfully there are some women out there who are determined to make us new mums feel good about ourselves, flabby or not Pushy Mothers, which specialises in a fun pram-based fitness regime, has launched a campaign which it calls ‘Push Don’t Rush’.

Judy DiFiore, director of Pushy Mothers says:”It takes nine months to make a baby and for most women, doing the right exercise and eating a healthy balanced diet, it’ll take at least the same to get back on track. If mums do “rush” back or do the wrong type of exercise there is a risk of injury to their joints, abs and pelvic floor.

“At Pushy Mothers we want to change attitudes towards new mums, to stop piling on the pressure, to celebrate motherhood, and to empower women to respect their post-baby bodies.”  (www.pushymothers.com)

Talking of post-baby bodies, here’s how to make yours feel extra special again – before you even think about dieting!

Love your skin

Some women find that their skin pigmentation can become patchy during and after pregnancy. Six months after having her daughter, Katherine Burt has still got signs of the freckles she developed during the pregnancy.

This chloasma or ‘mask of pregnancy’ can make some pregnancy women look as if they’ve been out in the sun, which can be a good thing. “Now though it bothers me,” says Katherine.

There is thankfully things she can do. US based but UK-owned skincare company Dermalogica has a range of products called Chroma White for skins that have pigmentation issues.

A spokeswoman for Dermalogica advises all women considering using their products to book a consultation with a beautician who uses the products. “That way you are shown how to use our products and which ones are most suitable for you.” you can search recommended stockists at www.dermalogica.com/uk/

Dryness

Joanne Barrett, a facialist says many new mums find their skin can get deyhdrated. She thinks it’s because they often forget to drink enough water. “Lots of mums can find their skins get quite dry. I would say try and avoid having too much tea or coffee, if you are not breastfeeding it can be tempting to use the caffeine to boost your alertness, but try and stick to de caff versions if you miss the taste. ”

Try and boost your water levels by having a glass of water every time you give the baby milk, that way you can get your eight glasses (as recommended by health professionals) without too much effort. In an ideal world you’d be having lots of fruit and veg – but with a new baby that often isn’t possible. So if guests ask you what they should bring insist on fruit and not flowers.

Aveda do a lovely ‘Comforting tea’ which tastes good with or without milk and has a tummy and head calming ingredients such as licorice root and peppermint.

Make up without the slap

Save time by investing in a good tinted moisturiser, you get a healthy glow with coverage without having to spend precious moments putting on make up. Laura Mercier, Boots No7 and my own favourite Marks & Spencer Autograph all do good tinted moisturisers. Some ranges of expensive make up, such as Bobbi Brown have kits which include neutral eyeshadows and lipsticks – something worth suggesting as a present for when you are ready to put on the slap again.

Go lower!

Don’t neglect your body. Joanne Barrett says that post-baby a great time saver and beauty tip is to take your face care regime a bit lower : “My advice is to spend a little bit more time when doing your face, take your beauty regime down to your bust line, use the same face wash, cream, and treatments and just take them further down it means you get a little bit more care where you need it.”

Other time-saving and money saving tips:

Waxing: If you don’t shave and prefer waxing but can’t get to the salon (who can?) then sse DIY wax strips, Veet do by far the best versions.  My tip is to put them on the radiator to warm up – they work amazingly if you do this.

Vitamins: Take a good multi-vitamin supplement every other day, ones with the B vitamins are good, I found that my skin and nerves improved taking these. Until you’ve settled into a routine with new baby; of course vitamin pills are no substitute for a proper diet but they can help top up your levels while your eating is erratic.

Stretching: Shiva Rea’s post natal DVD was a fantastic boost for me, I started using it after my GP check up and fitted in 20 mintues after I’d put my daughter to bed. Some nights I had to force myself to do it, but I am so glad I did, it felt like I’d had a bit of ‘me’ time.

I look cool now but you should've seen me....

It may have felt selfish at the time, but making herself the pet project of a  ‘mummy’ makeover saved her sanity, writes editor Samantha.

“My name is Samantha and I am an exercise-a-holic. There I’ve said it, I worry – just a tad (okay quite a lot) – about my health. And don’t get me going when it comes to that of my family…

“My obsession with being as “healthy as possible” has probably bordered on the unhealthy; I’ve dabbled in veganism, demi-vegetarianism and embarked on a wheat-free, gluten-free, caffeine-free diet which  took me to the edge of insanity and sense of humour failure.”

“I’ve ditched the extreme diets, but my activity regime still borders on the extremely dedicated. For the best part of 15 years rarely a week went by without at least four visits to the gym. I did spinning, running, weights, street dance, yoga and pilates.

That was, until I had Imogen two and a half years ago. At six months pregnant, still suffering from morning sickness and having to hold down an extremely full-on job, I gave up on exercise.

I’m not someone who believes in moderation. During my first pregnancy I put on about four stone – my body went from weighing 8st 12lbs to over 12 stone, it could have more but I gave up weighing myself at 36 weeks.

To be honest I didn’t care – having been told before I got pregnant that I was slightly underweight and, feeling unwell most of the pregnancy, food was the only thing I could actually enjoy – even if it was three packs of uncooked Linda McCartney veggie sausages.

I all but gave up on exercise, figuring out that I’d probably just about have enough time to fit in a yoga DVD once a week once the baby was born.

A botched epidural, emergency c-section ( following attempts at ventouse and forceps) later – I was told to remain as in-active as possible for 8 weeks after Imogen was born.

It didn’t bother me too much at first – I’d known from the emergency flashing light in the operating theatre and the faces on the team of obstetricians (they’d had the whole hospital’s quota in the room with us when Imogen was born) that I and my baby were both lucky to be alive.

But each night the tears came, every single night just after putting Imogen to bed, I’d retreat into the corner of her nursery (she was in our room for 4 months) sobbing about my failure as a mother – I’d been too sick to breastfeed Imogen for more than a week.

It was during one of my hormonal moments that I noticed my pink watch gathering dust on the shelf – it was my old heart rate monitor. I picked it up wondering.

At 12 weeks I was given the all clear and put on some sweats and dragged my body – my face still looked grey – for a walk with Imogen round our local park. While out I started to jog -very slowly – with her asleep in the pram.

I can’t describe how I felt coming back after my first ‘run’. Not only had my face got some pink back in it, and I’d burned 300 calories,  I didn’t cry that evening.

I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It was a cliché I don’t like using in copy (I’m a journalist) but it was so true. Just being outdoors and able to get my heart rate up a few times a week was, I am now convinced, saved me from developing full blown post natal depression.

Pramtastic

You don’t have to be a runner to start your post baby exercise regime.
In fact you already have a brilliant piece of resistance/cardio equipment quite literally to hand – your pram.

A half hour brisk walk, and we are talking some slopes here, can burn up to 200 calories. My daughter would only nap during the day if I took her for a walk first. I slowly built up to running with my pram too, a 45 mintues run can burn 450- 500 calories. I did my toning part by parking the pram and using a nearlby park bench for tricep dips, lunges and press ups.

When the running got too boring I also bought some exercise DVDs, various nightclub and celebrity themed workouts, but the only one that really worked was the Tracy Anderson Method (£11.99 from Amazon.com).
I would do this when Immy had gone to bed, and Andrew was making the dinner.

At first it was really frustrating, the routines are not easy to follow, but I soon found with a bit of concentration I was able to master them, and (using the monitor) burnt between 400 to 500 calories without even realizing.

I also bought some resistance bands, and started using my birthing ball to do squats and tummy exercises. Going to a post natal fitness class, and a local pilates class which both used bands and balls, meant I was learning new exercises each week which I could then go home and practice.

The result is that, within four months I was back at my pre-pregnancy weight. I didn’t diet either.

Here’s some advice I’ve picked up that other mummies out there might like to know:

How to get your body, and sanity back

First: Be breast aware
During (and after) pregnancy you’ll put on weight round your boobs. This can weaken the Coopers ligaments that help hold the breasts up. Wearing a good bra and doing chest-opening exercises, such as supported press ups or chest presses, can help,’ says postnatal exercise specialist Linda McDowall. ‘Not only do these strengthen the muscles that hold up your boobs, they can improve your posture that can also prevent sagging.’

Eat for one
Many women have trouble losing their baby weight because they skip meals. This may slow down their metabolism because their body thinks it is starving and therefore it conserves the calories you do eat. You need to make sure you are eating properly and drinking enough water to have a healthy metabolism and this can be difficult when you are settling your new baby in. Try and make sure you eat and drink, even if you have to forgoe the housework!

Tummy time
Even if you don’t need to lose weight there are some exercises you do need to do. “Try and do pelvic floor and core stability exercises as soon as possible after birth. This can help realign your hips, which get pushed forward during pregnancy. These exercises also strengthen your tummy muscles, improving your posture and supporting your back,” says Linda.

Your post-baby body – why you need to take it easy!

•    Lose weight slowly – aim for 1lb per week – so it’s more likely to stay off.
•    Get the calorie balance right. You need enough nutrients to stay energetic, but even when breastfeeding, you only need an extra 100 to 200 calories a day.
•    Join an exercise classes specifically designed for women who have recently given birth. Not only will the teacher have a good understanding for what exercises you can and can’t do, it will also be a great way to meet other new mums.
•    If in doubt, always check with your doctor.

Read more: Your post-baby body – what to expect